


For Our Kids

by creative_smtimes



Series: Poly Pals and Parents [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellamy is a cute dad, Bellamy is like Bob, Bisexual Bellamy Blake, Children, Dead Parents, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Greysexual Emori, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Multi, No Smut, OT6, POV Bellamy Blake, POV First Person, Pansexual John Murphy, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Slow Burn, biological children, parenting, polyamorous parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22654108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creative_smtimes/pseuds/creative_smtimes
Summary: "Hey Bell, could you... oh sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your work.""No, it's okay.""What are you writing?""It's a book about us.""About us? Why?""Yea, about all ten of us.""Ten? - Oh.""I want our kids to know our story.""Which kids, Bellamy?'"Soon."- A How I Met Your Parents Story
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Background Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin/John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Bellamy Blake/Echo/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Echo/Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Echo/Clarke Griffin, Echo/Raven Reyes, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Emori/Raven Reyes, background Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane
Series: Poly Pals and Parents [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677601
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	1. Prologue

When I was a kid, my mother used to read me stories every night.

The people from these stories – Achilles, Augustus, Odysseus, … - they became my heroes.

When my mother asked me to pick a name for my sister, I chose “Octavia” because having a sister with that name made me a bit more like one of those heroes I so desperately wanted to become.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about having kids.

Not right now, our situation is still way too messy for that, but someday I want to be a dad.

I thought about which stories I want to tell those future children of mine. Who do I want them to look up to, want to be like?

By choosing the stories I’m going to tell them, I will choose their heroes.

To get some inspiration I asked around among my family. I asked who their childhood heroes were, who they looked up to.

I got so many different replies that I almost gave up the search for a final answer, but then I realized something. There is one specific group of people that most of my loved ones lack, but that most other kids probably look up to: parents.

Sometimes I still forget the circumstances under which most of us met: in group therapy for teens who had lost one or both of their parents.

Yes, I thought, parents. My kids are going to have a bunch of them and all of us have stories from our lives that we are proud of, stories that would make children proud. So why not tell our stories? Or maybe – since I want to read this to my kids – maybe tell the now, the happy ending to our bumpy roads.

The kids will learn about the shitty sides of our world soon enough, so why not let them start their lives differently, with a happy story.

* * *

_Disclaimer: I will begin by briefly explaining how we all met before getting into the here and now. I want to remind you that this was all a couple of years ago, so the further back the memory, the less I will be able to remember and the shorter the chapters will be. Look forward to the later ones though as they will be much more like a real story._


	2. 2010

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How everyone met

Octavia and I never knew who our fathers were. The only thing our mother told us was that mine was Filipino, and hers was Greek, which explained the ways in which we looked so different. When our mother died, I was already 22 years old, but, seeing the circumstances in which my sister and I had grown up, the authorities still believed it would be better if I went to group therapy as well.

Wanting us to open up separately, they put Octavia and me in two different groups. This was how Octavia first met Echo, Emori, and Anya while I met John, Raven, and Lexa.

Lexa and Anya were half-sisters and had been separated for the same reason as we had. John didn’t talk much in the beginning, just making sarcastic comments when Lexa and I were trying to say something genuine. When Raven started doing the same, the counselor had to take them into another room for a while. Lexa and I had a great conversation while they were being scolded, and after they came back, they didn’t speak much again for a week.

Octavia sometimes told me about her therapy sessions. Apparently, Anya and Echo were good friends and, when Anya couldn’t speak anymore because of trauma, she would nod at Echo, who would then finish the story for her as she had either witnessed it, or Anya had told her about it before. Emori on the other hand, seemed pretty similar to John and Raven from my group, not saying anything except sarcastic comments.

After a month of therapy, I was allowed custody over Octavia and she moved in with me again. To celebrate this, we invited both our groups over to our tiny flat. Luckily, I had gotten along with Lexa so well because it was only with her help that we convinced Anya and Echo to come as well.

(Skip the next part if the children are under 14 years old and replace it with “We had a great evening together and were good friends afterward”)

Everyone clicked perfectly. By the end of the night, Anya and Raven were having a conversation about space while Lexa and I were having deep, philosophical discussions, that, in a sober state probably would not have made any sense. Echo, who had brought most of the boose despite me telling her not to because everyone except Anya, her and me was below 21, was lying on the floor, looking absentmindedly at the ceiling, trying not to hear the bad flirting from John and Emori only a meter away from her. Octavia, being the youngest and least experienced with alcohol of the group, had already fallen asleep on her mattress in the dining room.

Meeting in therapy was probably the best thing that could have happened to us. Since most of us didn’t like talking about our feelings, the insisting nature of our counselors Marcus and Indra was the only reason we ever got past a nod as a greeting. We learned a lot about one another in such little time. So much, that after half a year at the help center, we felt like family.

Our dynamics shifted a little when counselor Marcus decided to bring in volunteers our age for a Christmas celebration at the center, that we were also forced to attend. The two teenagers in question were Marcus’ possible future daughter in law (he had just started dating her mother) who both Lexa and I thought to be extremely attractive but who only had eyes for the other volunteer and Raven’s unclear-if-ex-or-still boyfriend.

* * *

The girl, as you might have guessed, was Clarke. The boy she was volunteering with was named Finn. Raven and he had been dating for a while before Raven’s mom died and due to a fight they had had shortly before that, and her then being moved back and forth through the foster system, they had lost contact. They had never officially broken up, but Finn apparently thought they had. Raven avoided him the entire day while Clarke, on the other hand, was actively flirting with him.

When Marcus brought them back in for the New Year's celebration, Finn and Clarke were dating. While both Lexa, I, and some of the others had been making casual conversation with Clarke during the Christmas party, the first interaction she had with Raven was a fight. Out of nowhere really, Raven burst out at that New Year’s event. The first thing after over half a year Finn heard her say was a yelled: “How dare you?”.

The fight - that only got a little physical - was soon stopped by the counselors around, and Marcus took Raven and Finn to another room to talk about it.

Clarke had sat down, confused and so Lexa walked over to her to explain the situation as far as she could.

Finn and Raven finally broke up that day. Clarke, who, as we later found out, had lost her dad in an accident and therefore understood the grief most of us were going through, also broke up with Finn a few weeks later and was since then a part of our group.


	3. 2011

With time, some friendships in our groups developed into relationships. Emori and John got together first in early January. Also around that time, very soon after her breakup with Finn, Raven actively started flirting with Anya. The two of them had a really strong connection and we could feel while watching them talk, that they were entirely in their own world.

All our friendships grew tighter through therapy but also because we met up outside of the center more and more often. I started becoming really good friends with Lexa, Clarke and Raven started referring to one another as besties, something I had not seen coming after their first interaction, Echo and Emori bonded over liking the same TV series and would meet up for marathons.

About 10 months after the New Year’s celebration, on Clarke’s 19th birthday, to which she had invited all of us, Lexa’s present (I don’t know what it was and Clarke will not tell us to this day) moved her so much that she kissed Lexa for the first time. Clarke had happy tears in her eyes after she pulled away and Lexa looked so taken aback, I couldn’t stop laughing at how overwhelmed she looked. By the end of the night, Clarke and Lexa were dating.

* * *

Raven’s mother had never really given her daughter any connection to her heritage. Wanting to connect with her roots more now that her neglectful mother was gone, Raven convinced us all to do something for dia de Los Muertos in 2011.

“I never knew my dad and my mom was a poopy head but I know some of y’all’s parents were wonderful people so I want us all to go around and say some positive stuff about our parents that we remember.” That’s how she started the conversation after she had asked Markus to give us a room at the help center that day and had told us all to “come or you’ll be on the list of people to be remembered next year”. Needless to say, we all came.

We all just sat there after she had started like that, staring at her as we tried, in some cases, to find the best memories and, in some other cases, to find a good memory at all.

“Okay I’ll start while you all wreck your minds,” Raven broke the silence after a few seconds. “My mom once remembered my birthday early enough to get me a present to put on the kitchen table before she left in the morning.”

“What was it?”, Echo asked.

“A bar of chocolate I didn’t like very much, but I shared it with Finn so at least he was happy.” Raven lifted her glass of water to that. “Cheers to my mom, may she rest in hell but not too deep because she got me chocolate.”

“May she rest in mediocre hell,” I lifted my glass as well.

“May she rest in mediocre hell,” everyone else said and we drank our water.

“Okay, who’s next?” Raven asked.

“Well, our mother always told us stories about Greek and Roman heroes which I really loved. She read them to me before Octavia was born and when she told her I could pick her name I chose Octavia because of Augustus’ sister Octavia.”

“That’s cute,” Clarke commented.

“If Octavia likes the name,” Lexa pointed out.

Octavia nodded reassuringly. “She does. Well, it’s okay. Anything is better than Bellamy honestly.”

“Thanks, sis.”

“Love you, bro.”

“Naww,” Lincoln made which brought Raven’s attention to him.

“How about you? How were your parents?”

Lincoln looked at her for a second before he cleared his throat to reply. “Well, my mom is still around and she’s wonderful but my dad was a poopy head, too. He would always try to make me ‘man up’ when I didn’t behave like he thought I should. He took me shooting a few times and I hated it. He got a trap that would catch the mice in our old flat alive just so he could make me watch him as he killed them. Once he made me kill one myself and then slapped me when I cried. So, sorry Raven but I can’t tell you a good thing about him I remember.”

“Man, that’s messed up!” Raven shook her head in disbelief. “And I thought my mom was bad.”

“I’ll go next,” Echo leaned forward to talk, wanting to change the topic. “Some of you already know the story from our group but I don’t mind telling it again for the others: My parents died in a fire in our house when I was 10. I didn’t die because I was out with Anya when it happened so our friendship kinda is the reason I’m still alive.” She threw a quick smile over to her best friend before she continued. “So the reason I’m actually here is that last year my grandma died and since she took me in after the fire, she was like a new parent to me.”

“Tell us some good stuff about all three of them then,” Emori encouraged her.

“Well, the best thing my grandma did obviously was taking me in so cheers to that.”

“Cheers!”

Echo waited for everyone to finish with their sip of water before she continued. “With my parents… I remember one time they had saved enough money for us to go to Brazil for a few days - I think it was a bit less than a week but I might be wrong. Anyway, well, my dad was from Brazil so we went around and visited all kinds of extended family there that I don’t even remember that much but I do remember on the last day because our flight was in the evening from Rio so we already drove there in the morning and we visited the big Jesus statue so that was cool and I’m thankful that my parents did that with me.”

“To the Jesus statue,” I toasted.

“To the Jesus statue!”

“Who wants to go next?” Raven asked.

“I loved the blueberry pancakes my dad used to make,” Clarke threw in and made everyone chuckle in the process.

“To blueberry pancakes!”

“I’ll go next,” Anya volunteered. “For the folks who don’t know the story: I don’t really remember my mom because she died when I was 4, Lexa and my dad left two years ago and the death we’re here for is Lexa’s mom but like she raised me too for most my life so yea she was like my mom, too.” She leaned back again in her chair to get more comfortable. “So to the good stuff: first of all, she treated me as if I was her own kid so that was dope but also she really made me believe that I was actually worth something because I never really got that kind of recognition from dad but yea she gave that to me and I’m thankful for that.”

“To making Anya feel loved,” Echo said.

“To making Anya feel loved.”

Raven kissed her girlfriend’s cheek before she asked again. “Who’s next?”

“Well my dad died because we couldn’t afford the treatment for both of us when him and me got really sick at the same time so that’s something,” John said.

“That’s not just ‘something’! That’s a freaking heroic thing to do,” Raven commented. “Cheers to your dad!”

“My mom was more like Raven’s and she didn’t get me stuff for birthdays after my father died so I’ll skip her.”

“That’s okay,” I assured him.

“Yea, I know, thanks.” It didn’t sound sarcastic this time, which made me smile.

“Who’s next?” Raven asked again. “Come on,” she added as no one made a move to talk, “we can drink it away on Friday at Anya’s birthday!”

“Okay,” Octavia blew some air out of her mouth, took in a deep breath and started talking. “My mom might not have been mother of the year or even close but at least she remembered both our birthdays every year and one time - I think it was my 11th birthday - she got me a horseback riding lesson. She couldn’t afford more but just that one hour on a horse made me really happy that day.”

“To O’s 11th birthday,” I smiled.

“To O’s 11th birthday!”

“I don’t remember my parents,” Emori started her story. “They gave me away as an infant and I don’t know why. I spent my first about ten years being given around in the foster system. Mostly okay people, some weirdos but there’s definitely kids who got worse than me. The person I’m here for was my last foster mom who I lived with for seven years. I’m thankful she took me in and gave me a home for a while. I never fully felt at peace there but yea she did her best and we had the same favorite food so yea.”

“What’s your favorite food?” Lexa asked.

“Pizza with spinach and feta cheese.”

“Ew,” Anya made.

“Hey, no judging!” Lexa hit her sister’s arm. “To spinach pizza!”

“To spinach pizza!”

“... even if it’s weird,” Anya added, earning another hit from Lexa.

“Well, I guess I’m the last person left so here I go,” Lexa started. “As Anya said, our father left us so that wasn’t great but our - or my mom, whatever - she supported me a lot when I came out as gay and got me this a day after I told her.” She pulled up her sleeve, revealing a leather bracelet with a rainbow pattern on it.

Clarke still has that bracelet. It hangs around her bedside lamp.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, you can really see that Bellamy writes this for his kids as he switched out the curse words Raven actually used for kid-friendly ones


	4. 2012 Part I

By spring of the following year, 2012, Octavia had started dating Lincoln. At first, I did not like that they were dating, because he was as old as me and with that about 6 years older than Octavia, but Anya, Lexa and Echo, who had known him for years, convinced me that he was the sweetest guy in the world and Octavia would be safe with him. For us all to get to know him better, Anya and Echo planned a trip for June.

I remember camping by a lake. We sang songs by a campfire and did all the other cliche things people do when camping at a lake. There is this picture that always pops into my head when I think of that weekend: Clarke and Lexa sitting on a big stone at the shore, kissing as John splashes water onto them to make them stop. He then pulled Lexa into the water with him so Clarke just jumped in after them, almost landing on top of Emori, making Echo scream. I think at the same time, O and Lincoln were having a race through the water. I remember because I was so worried about O, thinking the water would be colder the further they’d get and I had heard how dangerous swimming in lakes can be but Anya calmed me down reminding me that Lincoln was with her and Octavia herself was also a lot more sporty and strong than I used to credit her for. Raven, who was sitting on Anya’s lab next to me just slapped the back of my head and told me not to be a killjoy. 

Those were the happiest days of our lives and to the day that I am writing this, I have not been as happy again. You will learn the reason for that in the next story.

* * *

The following chapter is about the reason why Clarke, Raven, Echo and I take a trip every year in summer for a few days.

Kids, you might have noticed that there were two people in this story so far that you have never met. When I read you this, I will also show you their faces on the pictures in the hallway. These two women, who you can see for example in the picture at the lake where they are each getting a kiss on the cheek by Raven and Clarke and here at Emori’s and John’s birthday party where one of them is carrying the other on her back. The one carrying is Anya and the one on her back is Lexa. You never met these two women and you never will but without them, you would not be with us today.

I last told you about how Clarke was dating Lexa and Raven was dating Anya. Our group was perfect, if Echo and I had started dating then we would all be dating each other and everyone would have been happy.

Then, on July 1st, 2012 the doorbell at the Griffins’ house rang and Abby opened the door for two police officers.

“Are you Ms. Clarke Griffin?” the policewoman asked.

“No, I’m Abigail Griffin. Clarke is my daughter, what’s going on?”

“Mom, who is it?” Clarke came downstairs. She had expected Lexa and Anya coming by after their little weekend trip.

Abby didn’t reply, she just opened the door further so Clarke could see for herself.

“Clarke Griffin?” the male police officer asked.

“Yes, that’s me. What’s going on? What happened?” Clarke felt panic rise in her chest. She had been in a similar situation before when the police had told her and her mother about the death of her father.

“My name is Officer Byrne and this is my partner Officer Costa. Mrs. and Ms. Griffin, I think this is something we should discuss inside.”

“Wait, what happened?” Clarke asked again.

“Ms. Griffin, please,” Officer Costa asked. Clarke could see in the tall man’s eyes that this was serious so she let him come inside.

“Follow me,” Abby said and lead the officers into the living room. “Please sit.”

“You may want to sit as well.”

Abby and Clarke sat down timidly.

“There was an accident,” Officer Byrne started her explanation of what had happened. “Lexa and Anya Woods were riding a motorcycle when they were hit by a truck whose breaks were failing. They both died at the site of the accident.”

While Clarke was crying, Abby asked the Officers a few questions before bringing them back to the door. She then called me, telling me to tell the rest of our friends.

Echo had already found out herself. While Clarke had been Lexa’s emergency contact, Echo had been Anya’s so when I called her the first thing she said with a hoarse voice was: “I was just about to call you, have you heard it yet?”

Being the two of us who could hide our emotions best, Raven and I decided to volunteer as the ones who would identify the bodies so we went to the police station. Afterward, Raven went over to Clarke’s, telling me not to call for a group meeting because she felt like Clarke needed some time on her own to process it. I feel like she needed it for herself, too, though. Echo and Octavia went to Lincoln’s and Emori and John wanted to be left alone as well.

Not having anything else to do, I decided to go back to the police station to see if I could find out more or if I could help. In hindsight, I now know how stupid and unnecessary that was. I probably only annoyed those poor policemen and women trying to do their work.

What I know for sure is that I annoyed Octavia. After the funeral, I kept saying there should have been a way to prevent what happened. I was in denial. Even though my friends were already buried in the earth, I was still searching for a way to bring them back, a way to go back in time and stop that truck from running them over. It drove me crazy. The frequent fits of my obsession turned into didn’t take long to drive Octavia away from me.

It only took two and a half weeks before she told me during dinner. I was ranting about how unlikely it was for the truck’s brakes to fail when she interrupted me.

“It was meant to happen, Bell.”

“What?”

“The brakes were meant to fail and they were meant to be hit. That’s how the universe works and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“But-”

She didn’t let me interrupt her. “They have been dead for over two weeks now. It was an accident and it hurts like hell. I know how you feel, I loved them too, I still do! But it won’t bring them back to life if you continue to obsess about it like this!”

These statements shut me up for a while.

“I’ve made a decision,” Octavia continued carefully. “I talked to my boss at the gym and Lincoln talked to his landlord. If I work a few hours more each week I can afford to move in with Lincoln.”

“You’re leaving?” I asked.

“I can’t live here if you’re always like this, Bell.”

I felt terrible. I was six years older than my sister but I had gone so overboard that now she was talking to me as if I was the little one. “I can stop, I’ll stop!” I pleaded

“We both know you can’t do that this quickly.” Octavia smiled weakly. “And if we’re honest, we weren’t gonna live together forever anyway, so why not use the opportunity we have for the next step.” She must have seen some worry in my eyes because after a few seconds of silence, she added: “Lincoln will take care of me. I promise.”

* * *

Two days after Lincoln and Octavia had taken the little stuff she owned and brought them over to Lincoln’s flat, it was Lexa’s birthday. The whole day, I waited for a call, for someone to say we should do something together, but nothing came. I found out later that Clarke had cried the whole day so Abby and Raven had bought chocolate and ice cream, made Clarke’s favorite food and made her go through an entire day of Netflix with them. Lincoln and Octavia had gone to work, trying to pretend it was a normal day but had been less successful than John and Emori, who did the same. So, after work, they went for a run around the city, Lincoln showing Octavia a few places that held precious memories for him. Memories that included the two missing women. Whenever they got close to tears, they just started running again. Echo was the only one to go to the graveyard. She visited everyone she knew there. Her own family, Lexa and Anya’s family and the two women themselves. She then went out, trying to surround herself with people she didn’t connect to her dead friends, but it didn’t work. I just closed myself off. I went to work, worked way longer than I was supposed to and spent the evening in front of the TV, trying to drown out my thoughts.

A few days later, I got a call from Echo.

“I was at Lincoln’s earlier. Why did no one tell me Octavia moved out?”

It took me a few seconds but I decided not to reply with an explanation. “Well, it’s not like any of us have been talking really.”

She took a few seconds as well. I wasn’t used to conversation between us to be so strained. “Have you heard anything from John or Emori lately?”

“No. You?”

Silence.

“How about Raven and Clarke? Anything?”

“It’s hard to talk to them without seeing them.”

I knew she didn’t mean Clarke and Raven with the second “them”. “Do you want to come over? You know, so that at least the two of us talk…”

“Okay. I’ll be there in ten.”

And she was. We talked for hours. At first, we tried to avoid the topic of Lexa and Anya, our best friends, but it grew harder and harder to avoid their names. They were a part of everything we had experienced together and, for Echo, they had been part of her entire life. She was the first to let Anya’s name slip. I noticed her slight shock at saying the name, the pause in her voice afterward. I decided to make sure she knew it was okay.

“Lexa and Anya wouldn’t want us to cry just from saying their names,” I dared to say. It made Echo smile.

We talked for another few hours, this time specifically about the two women, and it helped a lot to finally let go of all the things I was thinking and feeling. When Echo had to go home that night, we decided to check up on the others. She on Emori and John and me on Raven and Clarke.

The next day, after work, I decided to check up on the two in person, so I drove to Clarke’s house and rang the bell. To my surprise, Raven was the one to open the door.

“Bell?” she asked which caused Clarke in the room behind her to come to the door as well.

“Bellamy?” she now asked, too. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to check up on you. See if you’re okay.” I looked at Raven. “Why are you here?”

It turned out, Raven had moved in with the Griffins around the same time as Octavia had moved to Lincoln. Being alone in her own flat had gotten too close to driving her crazy so now she and Clarke were just driving each other crazy. Abby, who soon joined us in the kitchen after the girls had let me in, told me they had been in a constant discussion of “It’s my fault - no it’s mine” as she put it.

“It’s nobody’s fault,” I clarified. “The brakes weren’t working because some marten or something chewed on a cable. So if anything, you could kill all the martens in the area for revenge, but that won’t make you happy either.”

The three women sitting with me at the table looked at me blankly. I knew how they felt. A marten? That’s all it took to rip two people out of our lives for good. I had been asking myself the same thing but it was true. I had asked those poor police officers often enough. Abby excused herself to let us talk afterward and just as it had with Echo, our conversation felt freeing to all three of us.

Later that night, when I was back in my flat, I called Echo. She filled me in with what she had talked about with Emori and John - It had been a less emotional conversation than mine with Clarke and Raven, but when John had brought her to the door, he had thanked her for getting Emori to speak at least a little bit - and we agreed to invite everyone out for a dinner.

* * *

A few days after Echo and I had finally checked up on the others, the eight of us were finally reunited at a big table in a restaurant we had never been to before. Echo had decided it was better not to meet at one of our usual spots so that the place wouldn’t be filled with memories. Of course, with all of us present, that didn’t fully work.

After some uncomfortably awkward chatter about work and living situations, Raven was the one to first address the important stuff.

“Clarke and I have something we need to talk about with everyone,” she announced.

“What is it?” Echo asked, looking up from the menu she had been studying.

“We all know that Anya and Lexa didn’t have any living relatives,” Raven started and I could see that the easy mention of their names startled everyone. “So, their money and their flat went to the state.”

“... but,” Clarke continued where Raven had stopped, “Marcus asked a few favors and made sure Raven and I got to take the stuff they had in their flat.”

“We did not get what they had with them when they…,” she stopped.

“Where are their things now?” I asked.

“Storage unit,” Clarke replied. “I couldn’t let them go so Rae said we should wait till we're all back to talking and then talk about it.”

“Have you decided yet?” a waitress none of us had heard coming suddenly asked.

“Sorry, give us another minute,” Emori quickly replied and the waitress went to another table, leaving us in tense silence. How well would we handle a room filled with Lexa and Anya’s belongings?

Th following day, we met up at the storage unit Clarke had rented. Clarke was about to open it with a deep breath as I stopped her.

“Wait.”

She looked up at me in confusion and with a bit of worry.

“I didn’t think you were ready until now, but now that we’re opening this…” I pulled a small envelope out of my bag. 

“What is it?” Echo asked.

Clarke took the envelope and opened it cautiously. She reached inside and upon touching the item inside seemed to realize what it was: Lexa’s leather rainbow bracelet, the one Clarke still keeps at her bedside. Tears started rising in her eyes so Raven was by her side immediately, stroking her back to soothe her.

“Where…?” Clarke began to ask.

“The police gave it to me after Raven and I identified them,” I explained, “They must have sensed that it was important.”

“Thank you.”

Raven took the keys to the storage unit from Clarke and opened the door, wanting to get this over with. 

Seeing all of their things at once hit me with a wave of feelings I hadn’t expected. Echo seemed to feel the same as we cleared our throats at the same time, trying to gain composure. 

“Okay,...,” Emori sighed, “Where should we start?”

We collectively decided to give most of their things to goodwill as we did not want to have things lying around that we, for one, had no use for and secondly would only remind us of the painful loss. 

Echo kept a lamp she had given to Anya once (the small light blue one in the reading corner downstairs), Octavia kept a small black handbag of Lexa’s (it broke a few years later, Lincoln made the little heart-shaped leather pieces we all have on our keychains out of the fabric), Lincoln and I split their books. The rest we packed into John’s car so he and Emori could take it away. 

Our hugs goodbye were longer and tighter that day but I knew, we all felt a little bit lighter.


	5. 2012 part II

It was the day before Raven’s 20th birthday and only six weeks after her girlfriend had died. She hadn’t been texting much, hadn’t come when one of us had invited her to come over, always claiming she had a lot to do. Clarke told me Raven was eating in her room a lot, not wanting to have conversations with her and Abby but Clarke didn’t know what to do. So, wanting her to at least have an okay birthday weekend, on that Friday evening, I went to the Griffins’ house to check on her. 

Abby looked as tired as I felt when she opened the door after I rang. She told me Raven wasn’t there.

“She left with a backpack,” Abby said, “Told me not to expect her back before Sunday.”

“Where did she want to go?” I asked.

“I have no clue,” Abby shrugged, “I wanted to stop her at first but figured she’d be okay. Maybe she’ll open up a bit more after she’s fully alone for a while…”

“Maybe…” I looked back at my car, then on my watch, then back at Abby. I felt the past six weeks weigh down my body but I figured I could make it.

“You wanna come in for a second?” Abby asked, not realizing my plan.

“Thank you, Mrs. Griffin but I gotta go.”

“Okay” She smiled as she started to close the door. 

“They’ll be okay,” I said quietly before the door fell shut. I could see Abby lingering for a second through the milky glass in the door, then she went back into her house.

Raven didn’t have a car yet so I knew to really get away for the weekend, she would have to take a train.

I didn’t know if Raven wanted to go to NYC or to Washington DC but since both major train stations of the city had connections to both of them, I drove to the one closer to the Griffins’ house. I parked my car a bit away from the station and ran the rest.

Raven still claims I wanted to make a grand romantic gesture and she just didn’t fall for it because, when I finally found her sitting on a bench on the station platform, according to her, I looked like I had just taken a shower of sweat.

“Well, how would I have known our train isn’t leaving for another 20 minutes?”

“Our?”

“Yep.”

With that, I left her sitting there and went to the ticket machine and bought a ticket to the capitol.

“Why Washington?” I asked as I sat down next to Raven.

“Why are you coming with me?”

“I asked you first.”

She jabbed my leg for that.

“Ouch!”

“Crybaby.”

“No, you got anger issues.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

We just sat there for the remaining 15 minutes waiting for our train. 

We didn’t say a word until after half an hour on the train, I pointed out the engineering magazine a guy a few seats away was reading and Raven told me it was way under her level.

When I brought Raven back home on Sunday afternoon, Abby looked worried at first but Raven smiled and assured her she was feeling better. Both Abby and Clarke asked what we had done all weekend but we didn’t tell. The only thing we mentioned was the delicious milkshakes we had found.

* * *

On Clarke’s birthday that year, she understandably didn’t want to throw a party. She still wanted us around though, because her birthday especially reminded her of Lexa as they had gotten together only a year before. 

John had just discovered his love for cooking and begged Clarke to make dinner for everyone so she let him. Needless to say, as you all know his cooking, we were all blown away. 

“Dude how is this so good?” Raven shouted after her second bite.

“A good chef never tells his secrets,” John replied with a cocky smile.

“Good thing we kept you,” Echo joked, “Who would have known you’d be useful someday?”

“Stop mocking him,” Clarke interjected. “Thank you for cooking, John, it’s delicious.”

“Why, thank you.” John bowed his head as if he was an actor on stage at the end of his performance.

“I know what you’re thinking, Clarke,” Emori said, “‘Why are all the good ones taken?’”

Raven later told me that, when Emori said this, Clarke threw a glance at me with a smile as if she was thinking “no he’s not” but I’m not sure whether I should believe her.

We continued to have some conversations I don’t remember anymore, probably about work and other boring things. The next thing I remember though was important. It was Clarke bringing up Wells. Raven seemed to know the story but the rest of us had never heard of him before.

“I know what it’s like to lose your best friend,” Clarke said to Echo after Anya had been brought up for the first time of the night.

At first, I assumed she was talking about Lexa, because she had often said while Lexa was still alive how lucky she was to be dating her best friend, but with her next words, I realized I was wrong.

“I was 16 and it was only a year after my dad had died. His name was Wells and I had known him my entire life.”

“What happened to him?” Emori asked.

“He was shot by a 10-year-old girl who wanted to revenge her father.”

We all looked stunned and confused so she continued her explanation.

“You see, his father is a high ranking judge. Her father had killed 6 people so Wells' father gave him the death sentence. Apparently, that girl didn’t understand what her father had done, she thought Well’s father was the bad guy for putting her dad away to be killed so she got a gun from her uncle and waited at the corner of the street where Wells’ family lived. She waited for a long time and when Wells appeared first instead of his father, she must’ve just thought to herself that it didn’t matter if she killed the judge himself or his son and she pulled the trigger.”

“That’s horrible!” Echo exclaimed.

Clarke just nodded and looked down at her plate. “Sorry for ruining the mood.”

“No, Clarke, hey,” Echo quickly got up and put her hand on Clarke’s shoulder, “It’s okay, I’m glad you told us.”

“We’ve all had to deal with some messed up stuff,” Octavia added, “but that’s some next-level stuff!”

“We’re here for you so you can tell us everything,” I said with what I hoped was a reassuring and calming smile.

Clarke gave me a sad smile back and nodded. “Thank you. I’m glad to have you all here today.”

“We’re very glad to have you, too, Clarke,” Lincoln added.

With that, Emori got up from the table. “Dessert?”

* * *

That year on Día de Los Muertos, we wanted to mostly remember Lexa and Anya. While in most western cultures days to remember the dead are often somber and all in black, on Día de Los Muertos, people usually try to remember the happy times, eat the deceased’s favorite food and celebrate their lives. 

We decided to go back to a part of their lives that was undoubtedly happy so we went back to the lake we had camped at in June. In Mexican culture they believe, that on Día de Muertos, as they actually call it in Spanish, the dead come back to earth to celebrate with the living. But on that Friday evening at the lake, Clarke sat alone on the stone without Lexa and Raven did not have Anya’s lap to sit on either. It had already started to get dark when we had arrived and looking at the people I loved so sad in the last bit of light of the day… Echo was the first who realized I was crying. She hugged me and soothed me but it didn’t work much. Soon, Clarke was crying, too. 

“Hey,” Lincoln said with tears in his eyes, “We’re supposed to think happy things, remember happy times and celebrate!”

“How?” Raven asked.

“I’ll just…,” Echo cleared her throat, trying desperately not to start crying as well, “I’ll just tell you happy stories of them from our childhood!”

And so she did. After three stories, though, her walls broke and she started crying with us so Lincoln took over as the storyteller. Whenever he got choked up, Octavia would stroke his back and we would patiently wait for him to gather himself to continue.

With most of us crying now, Emori surprised me by pulling out a big package of tissue papers. “I knew this would happen,” she simply stated, “I probably won’t cry but I knew all of you would so I figured I’d come prepared…”

“Thank you,” Raven gave her a kiss on the cheek that Emori did not fight off and took a bunch of tissues to dry her face and blow her nose.

“Can we please all stay?” Clarke spoke suddenly.

We all looked at her, some confused, some expectantly, some understandingly.

“Can we just all stay together please, forever?” Clarke continued. “None of us should have to lose any more people…”

“We’ll stay,” Echo quickly assured her.

“We’ll always be with you.”

In the morning, John suggested we should go swimming. It was November so the water was freezing cold but nobody complained as we followed him into the lake. Maybe the cold numbed the pain.


	6. 2013

As you all know, Emori’s and John’s birthdays are pretty close to each other as Emori’s is on March 27th and John’s is on April 14th. I’m sure, by the time I’m reading you this, they will still enjoy celebrating together so it won’t come as a surprise to you that they did exactly that in 2013. The two of them shared the opinion that we all needed to talk to some people outside of our group some time so they invited not only us but also a whole lot of people from our workplaces. 

I spent a lot of time that night with Nate and Bryan. We all played beer pong, pretending we were younger than we were, us three always losing against Raven and Clarke’s team with Harper. I really hope you kids got to know all these people… 

After a few hours and another loss against a team made up of Echo, Zoe and John later, I got pulled aside by Niylah, a friend of Octavia’s, who told me that Clarke wasn’t feeling too good. I thanked her for telling me, got Raven to replace me at beer pong and went to the other room to look for Clarke. 

In this room, the music was a lot louder and people were dancing wildly to it. I found Clarke swaying to the music by herself. I could tell she wasn’t very drunk but still, as soon as I stepped close to her, she let her arms fall around me.

“Bellamy…,” she simply said as she nudged the sides of my body to make me move with her to the music.

“Yes, Clarke?”

“Hi…” She sounded tired, exhausted even but not in a drunk way; in a sad way.

“You okay?” I duck down a bit to be able to look into her eyes as she was just looking at my stomach the whole time.

“I miss them.”

Hearing her say that was like a kick into the guts for me. I had not thought of Lexa and Anya all night. The party had distracted me just as Emori and John had intended.

“I know, I miss them, too,” I simply replied, still swaying to the music with Clarke as the song switched to a slower one. I silently begged that no one would skip it because it was “too boring” as Clarke wrapped her arms tighter around my waist.   
Nobody skipped the song and Clarke started to lean against me for comfort, our bodies lost in a simple wave of back and forth. I had not noticed the beer pong game being over but the players and watchers were now filing into the room with the dance floor as well. Raven and Echo must have noticed the state me and Clarke were in because I soon felt four arms wrap around us and then, after a quick waving motion of one of those arms, four more. Clarke, Echo, Raven, John, Emori and me. Just us and the music. Our dance was just the calm swaying of a pile made up of six bodies and this pile felt like home.

* * *

We spent the first anniversary of their death together in a back and forth of talking about them and trying to distract ourselves. I don’t want to get into too much detail of that day, though, because just thinking about it makes me too sad and when I think of reading you these stories I would rather have them make you smile than cry.

On Día de Los Muertos that year, we went for a long walk around the graveyards of the city. We visited every one we knew. At the grave of Echo’s parents, Raven and I each took one of Echo’s hands to comfort her. Clarke told me that evening that when Octavia had seen that, she had thrown her a questioning look with a quirked up eyebrow but Clarke said she had just replied with a shrug. 

I let go of Echo’s hand as we kept walking and took Clarke’s again instead, but Raven and Echo did not let go of each other’s hand for the rest of the walk. 

When it got dark, we all went to Octavia and Lincoln’s flat. We ate dinner together and, without many words, just seeing the looks on everyone’s faces, Lincoln decided that we should all sleep there. 

“Sleepover-party!” John cheered and actually earned a few giggles. 

We slept cramped together in my sister’s living room. It was warm despite it being November and the mattresses weren’t the most comfortable but when I woke up the next morning tangled up in a pile of my favorite people, I felt a deep though melancholic happiness within me.


	7. 2014 part I

For my 26th birthday, I did not want a big party. Yes, John, Echo and I were getting along well with everyone at the precinct and I knew the others had some nice colleagues as well, some of which I knew from other birthday parties, but since our jobs were starting to keep us apart more and more, I just wanted some time with my friends. Octavia criticized it a little, calling me a “boring adult” when I told her I would only be hosting a dinner at my place, but I think she was secretly very happy to get away from the people that surrounded her every day at the fitness studio she worked at. 

Dinner was nothing special. Emori joked a bit that, if I had let John cook, it would have tasted better but John said my cooking was “acceptable”. Clarke and Lincoln talked about a new piece by one of their favorite artists, Octavia and Raven exchanged work out advice, and Echo and I just joked around. 

No one was surprised that, after dinner, Clarke was the only one to stay. She claimed it was just to help me clean up, but Octavia’s wiggling with her eyebrows made me realize they probably all knew Clarke would be staying the night. It didn’t bother me. Clarke and I were not officially anything but John had asked me a couple of times already why I hadn’t asked her yet.

After saying goodbye, Clarke and I fell into a steady routine of her bringing the dishes into the kitchen and me sorting them into the dishwasher. After I had just finished washing the last thing that hadn’t fit into the dishwasher anymore and had given it to Clarke to dry, I turned my back to her, walking around in the small kitchen for a bit. 

“Hm?” she made, sensing my nervousness.

“Clarke, can I ask you something?” I turned back towards her, meeting her eyes. 

She handed me the dry casserole. “Just did,” she winked.

I chuckled as I put the casserole into the cupboard. “No, seriously,” I said when I was facing her again.

“Sure.” She pressed a small kiss on my cheek as she walked past me to the living/dining room. We still had to put the folding chairs back into the storage room, I remembered.

“Clarke, um…” My voice was lower now, trying to get her to realize this was not something to talk about while still cleaning up, but something that needed her full attention.

“Oh,” she made and turned back towards me. We were now both standing in doorways, the little entrance area of my apartment between us. I pushed myself off of the doorframe and walked past her into the living/dining room, taking her hand in the process and lightly pulling her with me to the couch. 

“I need to ask you something,” I repeated myself, now having her full attention.

“Ask me something,” she nodded, still a little joke and no seriousness in her voice, maybe to calm down the nervousness in mine.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Echo and I are… kind of interested in each other…,” I started.

“I noticed you make each other laugh a lot,” Clarke said, shifting more into my direction but leaving enough space between us, “and I thought I saw a look between you two earlier that, I don’t know, it reminded me of how mom and Marcus look at each other.”

I stayed silent for a beat. The calm way in which she had said this overwhelmed me.

“You look at her like you look at me,” Clarke continued, “A little different, but, yea, similar.”

“I do?”

“Yea, you do,” she smiled.

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. When she saw my confused expression, she continued. “Bell, we aren’t officially anything so why would I have any say in who you get to look at like that?”

“I don’t know, I guess I thought you wanted us to be something official and me liking Echo would get in the way of that…”

“Look,” Clarke sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position on the couch, “I don’t believe in the whole ‘each person has one soulmate’ stuff anymore. Both I and my mom have had to bury the person we thought was our soulmate. Raven probably thought Finn was her soulmate for a while but he wasn’t and we both know she and Anya were perfect together but Anya died, too. So if my mom can have two ‘soulmates’ or whatever in my dad and Marcus, and I can have Lexa and now maybe you, would it be fair to keep you from having two as well? Like, do I really have to die first for you to be allowed to act on your feelings for Echo? And then Echo can have you and Raven if she wants that. I don’t judge and neither should anyone else. We’re all kind of bi so we know the whole ‘love is love and that’s just it’ thing. Why shouldn’t love be allowed to include more than one person?”

Her speech had baffled me. I knew she was right with everything she had just said but I had never let myself look at it from that perspective. 

“So, you wanna ask Echo out on a date?”

“Yea, that’s what I wanted to ask you, if that would be okay for you,” I finally said, “But I guess you already answered that…”

“Go ahead, ask her. But tell me how it went afterwards!” She got up, pressed a quick kiss to my lips and turned towards the dining table. “And now help me get the chairs back where they belong.”

* * *

A few days later, Echo and I went on our first date. We had been waiting for this for a while so when trying to choose what we should do, it took us a while because we wanted it to be perfect. 

In the end, because we didn’t want to spend too much money and mostly just wanted to spend time together, we decided to just go for a walk around town. Through our job we knew which parts of the city we should not be going to but other than that we just let our instincts guide us.

First, we walked around Fort McHenry. Echo knew how much I loved this place due to my obsession with history so she let me gush about all the facts I knew about the bastion and the history of our city in general. 

She talked a bit about her childhood then, which streets she and Anya and later Lincoln and Lexa, too, used to play in, where they would go with their bikes and what they would do. 

When we reached the harbor, I noticed she was starting to get sad. All these memories of Anya and Lexa were still hard for her to look back on. I let her finish her story and added something funny from my own childhood to it to lighten the mood.

When we reached the Gallery, I started running. Away from the harbor, away from most of the people, down South Calvert Street.

“What are you doing?” she asked, laughing.

“Running!” I replied without looking back.

“Why?” She laughed even more.

“I don’t know, why not?” I turned around, continuing to run backwards. 

“Watch out!” Echo called out, still with a bright smile on her face. I had almost run into somebody.

I quickly apologized to the man but kept running. “If I hadn't been running backwards, I would have seen that guy,” I stated then.

“Then why are you running backwards?”

“I’m waiting for you to join me!” I stretched out my hand as if I was asking her to take it.

She rolled her eyes with a chuckle and began running after me.

We ran for almost ten blocks, though after half of it the “running” was really just jogging. 

“Just a little…,” I started, breathing heavily a few seconds after I had stopped suddenly. “Just a little break.”

“Yes please,” Echo was breathing just as hard, leaning against a wall next to me.

“Just…,” I swallowed, trying to get my sore throat to be able to speak, “Just walking for a bit now.”

“Sounds good.” Echo patted my back and continued walking.

I caught up with her quickly and we just went silently for a bit, trying to catch our breath.

“So who would have thought Raven and Clarke would allow us to go on a date together?” Echo started a new conversation after a few blocks.

“Well it’s not like either of our relationships are official or anything,” I pointed out. 

“Touché”

We returned to our silent walking.

“Do you want it to be official though?” Echo asked after another block.

“With who?” I noticed as I said it that that was the exact important question Echo was asking herself.

“With Clarke,” she smiled.

I took a bit too long to answer, contemplating if it would hurt Echo if I said yes because she definitely would not have believed it, had I said “no”.

“I mean she basically already lives at yours, so…,” she pointed out.

“Yea…,” I grinned.

“Yea she lives at yours or yea you want it to be official?”

I looked at her, walking a bit slower. “Yea I want it official…”

She smiled triumphantly as if she had won a bet with this. (I later found out that, of course, she and Raven had actually bet on me and Clarke getting together soon.)

We kept walking.

“Then why don’t you ask her?”

“Am I not literally on a date with you right now?” I asked sarcastically.

“So?”

“What do you mean ‘so?’?”

“Why does being on a date with me keep you from asking Clarke to be your girlfriend?”

Back then, I really did not get her point and she seemed to notice.

“If you’re interested in me then just ask her for an open relationship,” she explained. 

I said nothing. Today, when I think of how oblivious I was back then to how okay both Clarke and Echo were with the situation, it makes me laugh. 

After a while of walking in silence again, I heard her clear her throat. “Are you interested in me?”

I chuckled. “Did I ask you out on a date or not?”

She chuckled as well.

“Should we walk past the Painted Ladies?” I changed the topic as I noticed how close we were to the colorfully painted Victorian houses of Baltimore. 

“Sure, but only if we get something to eat after!”

I smiled and, as we turned the corner, decided to take her hand. She seemed surprised at first, but then she squeezed my hand lightly and I could feel that she was happy.

When we reached the Painted Ladies, Echo let go of my hand and grabbed her phone out of her pocket.

I raised an eyebrow in question.

“Let’s pretend we’re tourists!” she suggested with a funny glow in her eyes. 

I grinned as I began posing in front of the houses, next to a few actual tourists. Echo acted like a professional photographer, telling me how to pose, what faces to make and where to position myself. We laughed the whole time. A selfie from that moment hangs in the hallway, it’s the one where I kiss her cheek.

With about 200 more pictures on Echo’s camera roll, we found a small pub nearby and I invited my date to a burger and something to drink. We talked about work a bit, about our friends, about the future. I hadn’t even noticed that we were holding hands in the middle of the table until the older waitress smiled brightly at our interlocked fingers before handing me the check.

We walked around the museum of art next, talking about how I should bring Clarke on a date there sometime. It was still a bit strange, holding Echo’s hand while talking about Clarke like that, but Echo was actively encouraging it so I started getting more and more comfortable with it. 

It started getting darker when we reached Druid Hill Park so we decided to finish walking around Druid Lake before heading home. We walked in silence again, only pointing out things we thought were pretty like how the light hit the water or shone through the leaves or a bird flying above us. 

At the end of our round, Echo looked back on the lake. I was looking at her. 

“This was nice,” she said, somewhat matter-of-factly.

“It was,” I smiled. “Should we do this again sometime?”

“Definitely.”

Despite her protests that she could manage on her own, I brought her home. At her door, she thanked me for the date and kissed my cheek - pretty close to the corner of my lips. 

“Tell Clarke I said hi!” she said before walking up the few stairs to her door. “And talk to her,” she added before the door fell shut behind her.

“I will,” I mumbled to myself.

When I opened the door to my own apartment I was met with the smell of hot chocolate. Clarke was home. It shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did.

“Bell?” I heard my basically-roommate’s voice coming from the living room.

She was sitting on the pulled-out couch that functioned as her bed whenever she slept at my place as my own bed was too small. She was rolled up in a blanket, the empty mug formerly filled with hot chocolate on the coffee table next to her and her laptop in front of her. She had paused whatever Netflix movie she was watching to look at me. The glint in her eyes reminded me of Echo’s at the painted ladies.

“How was it?”

“Good.”

I must have blushed a little because she jumped up from the couch, almost hitting her - well, _my_ mug on the way and bounced towards me.

“Oh, come on, it was more than good,” she insisted, “Tell me everything, tell me what you did, where you went…”

I smiled as I moved us back to the couch and began to tell her everything.


	8. late 2014-2015

The second anniversary of Anya and Lexa’s deaths was when we started the tradition we still practice today. Every year since 2014, Echo, Raven, Clarke and I have been going back to the lake we camped at with everyone in 2012. I can’t blame the others for not wanting to go anymore, it is hard every year.

With our new situation of me dating both Echo and Clarke and Raven and Echo also being close, Raven had decided it would be fun for us all to sleep in one tent together. We only spent one night there but I will never forget the time in the dark around the campfire.

“Would you ever do things differently?” Clarke asked, her head leaned onto Raven’s shoulder as she was starting to get tired.

“With what?” Echo asked. She was stroking my hair as I was leaning against her in a similar position as Clarke.

“Everything, us, the group,...,” Clarke explained.

“No,” I replied without a second thought.

“I don’t think I would either,” Raven agreed, “even if that would save me from losing Anya and Lexa, I still wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Me neither, I think,” Clarke said now, too, “I don’t think we would be this close now if it wasn’t for them…”

“We definitely wouldn’t be here now, just the four of us,” Echo pointed out.

“True,” I nodded, “and I like being here. Even if it’s because of something sad. I like having you guys around me.”

“I love you guys,” Clarke smiled.

“Love you, too, young Griff,” Raven chuckled and pressed a peck to Clarke’s hair.

“Oh stop it with the Game of Thrones references, Raven,” Echo laughed. “Love you all, too, though,” she then added.

“I love you, too,” I smiled.

“Do you think he will appear in season 5 next year?”

“Who?” Clarke asked.

“Young Griff,” Raven replied.

“Season 5 of what?”

“Of Game of Thrones! Pay attention, Bellamy!” Echo lightly smacked the back of my head as we all laughed.

* * *

September 20th, 2014 marked Octavia’s 21st birthday. Of course, she wanted a grand celebration. Because Raven had been busy with work on her own birthday one month earlier and had only gone out to have some milkshakes with Echo and me (of course with Clarke’s approval) to get her mind off things, Octavia swiftly decided that her birthday party would indirectly also be Raven’s. 

Octavia invited everyone we knew and more or less liked. There was food and drinks and pool and dancing, everything a 21st birthday needed in my little sister’s eyes. I felt a bit out of place with everyone except Echo being a lot younger than me but luckily the people close to me were more mature than some of the other guests so I still enjoyed myself a lot. I danced with Clarke, Echo and Raven, for one song even with John while Raven filled in for him dancing with Emori. 

After her party, Octavia called me and asked what was going on between me, Raven, Echo and Clarke. She told me she had noticed us dancing close to one another and sharing a few kisses. I couldn’t lie to my sister so I did my best to explain the situation. To my surprise, she understood. She even shouted at me for being so awkward about it and told me to make it all official already.

Knowing my little sister was right, I texted the three of them to come over to my place the next morning. 

“Hey, babe.” Echo greeted me with a kiss. She took off her shoes like she knew I preferred it and went to the living/dining room where Raven and Clarke were already seated on the couch.

“Hey, babe,” Raven now greeted her, earning herself a kiss as well.

“So, that’s everyone,” I said, standing in front of the three sitting women awkwardly as there was no more space on the couch. I decided to sit down cross-legged on the ground.

“What’s this meeting about?” Clarke was the first to ask.

“Octavia found out about all of us,” I replied.

“Not surprising considering how we all behaved last night,” Raven pointed out.

“Anyway, she told me to make it fully official and tell everyone about us because she thinks it would only make it more awkward if we tried to keep it a secret any longer.”

“I agree we should tell everyone,” Echo said. “There is nothing embarrassing or weird about dating two smart, hot people…”

“Three in my case,” I added.

“Oh, too many compliments,” Raven pretended to be coy, “Just kidding, keep going, babes.”

Clarke laughed at Raven’s comment. “Well, I’m still only dating Bellamy so far and I’m okay with him dating both of you so I don’t really mind who we tell.”

“‘So far’ huh,” Raven repeated with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Oh, shut up,” Clarke nudged her shoulder.

“So how do we tell them?” Echo asked. “Just text into the group chat ‘Btw guys, we’re all dating’ or do we make a big thing with a meeting and invitations out of it?”

“Well, Octavia knows so I’m guessing Lincoln does too and I’d prefer telling mom and Marcus about us in person so the only ones left would be John and Emori, right?” Clarke thought out loud.

“Don’t you think they know?” Raven asked.

“Maybe, but I think just in case they don’t we should officially tell them,” I said.

“Okay,” Echo nodded, “so text or in person?”

When we told them a few days later at what was disguised as a simple karaoke night at Octavia and Lincoln’s, they simply high-fived Raven, Echo and me for scoring multiple wonderful partners and congratulated Clarke on her openness. It felt good that for the rest of the night I could switch between my three girlfriends when singing couples’ duetts and watching Echo and Raven sing them to each other when my throat started getting sore.

* * *

A few months later, after Abby had announced she would get married to our former counselor Marcus Kane, Raven and Clarke finally moved out of Clarke’s childhood home and into their own apartment. 

The wedding a few months later was beautiful, though, for us, a bit complicated. We figured, as to not pull the attention away from Abby and Marcus, we would simply come as couples, even though, of course, Raven and Echo coming together as a same-sex couple was already strange to some more close-minded guests. Some people still figured out that I was dating not only Clarke and the looks Raven kept throwing not only me but also Clarke did not remain completely unnoticed. Whenever someone was being mean about our situation, though, Clarke was quick to shut them up and defend us. As long as it was okay for all of us and even Abby and Marcus - “it’s just like having multiple friends just that we kiss n stuff” had been Raven’s explanation to them - were okay with it, none of us cared about the opinion of other people.

The week after the wedding, John and I had the first of a series of long seminars out of town coming up. Hearing him talk about Emori looking after their place while he was gone and Clarke and Raven, who were behaving more and more couple-y, still busy with their own move, I had the idea to ask Echo to move in with me so she could look after my place. When I asked her, she just said that that question was overdue anyway and that she would gladly move in with me. 

The seminar was exhausting. The time away from home brought John and me a lot closer than we had already been and when we asked our girlfriends if it was okay for them if the two of us were as close as we were with them, they laughed and said of course.

* * *

It had only been a year since Clarke and Raven had moved into their own apartment and half a year since Echo had moved in with me when our constant back and forth of sleepovers started becoming too much for us. We had another one of our serious talks and weeks of planning before we found an apartment for the four of us. The other four gladly helped us move our stuff and only one and a half months after making the decision, we spent the first night in our new place. 

Normally, ever since we had moved in, either Echo or Clarke shared a bed with me so that the other bed companions were also dating but after a month of living together, Raven demanded to share a bed with me for once.

The morning after the first night of me and her sharing that bed, Raven, as always, was the first of us to get up. She quietly opened the door to the other room and looked inside, then I heard her bare feet padding back to me.

“Bell, come quick, you gotta see this,” she whispered as not to wake our girlfriends.

I got up and went with her to the other room. She leaned against the doorframe, her hand lightly pushing open the door. I stood behind her, putting my arms around her hips and resting my tired head on her shoulder. The sight before us was incredibly adorable. Clarke was curled up on her side with Echo spooning her, nose buried in the smaller woman’s neck. 

“Don’t wake them,” I whispered to Raven who was taking out her phone to take a picture. 

“Wasn’t going to,” she whispered back, putting her phone back into her back pocket.

(Echo protested when I suggested we hang that picture on the wall but I can show it to you on the computer.)

“They look adorable,” I chuckled.

“If Echo finds out you called her adorable, she’s gonna kill you,” Raven pointed out.

“Well, then don’t tell her.”

“What do I get for my silence?” Raven asked with her hand stretched out and a business woman’s look in her face.

“How about I don’t kill you in return, I mean, you are my only witness,...”

“You wouldn’t,” Raven teased.

“You sure?”

I poked her waist, causing her to jump as she was very ticklish (don’t tell her I told you that). 

“Hey!”

Her squeak woke up the other women.

“What’s going on?” Echo asked, peeling herself off of Clarke sleepily.

“Bellamy called you adorable and now he wants to kill me before I tell you!” The words shot out of Raven’s mouth while she was trying to run away from me in the small room. “Protect me!” she squealed shriller than I had ever heard her voice.

Echo lifted herself up a bit, took her pillow and threw it at me in a weak attempt to keep me from tickling our girlfriend.

“Hmpf,” came a sound from out of Clarke’s pillow that was still covering her face. She lifted her arm, feeling around behind herself, trying to find Echo’s arm. When she did, she took it and placed it back around her waist. 

“Nawww,” I made, momentarily distracted from catching Raven.

Taking the opportunity, Raven sprinted past me into the hallway. “Ha!” I heard her shout from the kitchen, happy about her triumph. 

I decided not to run after her any more and instead leaned over the bed, pressing a kiss to each women’s forehead. “Good morning, sorry for waking you but you have to get up in five minutes anyway.”

“Mmm” came another grunt from Clarke, but Echo placed her hand on Clarke’s pelvis and rolled her around.

“Come on, we’ll make you breakfast,” she promised the youngest of us four. 

“Mmmm… pancakes” was Clarke’s reply.

I chuckled. “Okay, I’ll make you pancakes.” 

After breakfast, Raven announced she would leave for work now. Immediately, the three of us jumped up starting a race to kiss her goodbye. Echo won, so she got to kiss her lips, me and Clarke each got a cheek.

“You guys are way too cheesy,” Raven commented after we had let her go with three simultaneous smacks of our lips.

“You love us,” I grinned.

“Hmmm,” she made, “okay, yea, I do.”


	9. 2016-2017

Another year, another spring another shared birthday party of John and Emori’s. 

Apparently, spring had reignited Raven’s love for flirting. She and I were standing at the bar when John approached us.

“I see you flirting with my girlfriend, Reyes,” he said, nudging her arm while ordering a refill by signing with his other hand.

“I was talking to Bellamy,” Raven defended herself but I could see in her eyes that she knew exactly what he was talking about. 

“Nah,” John said, “I mean earlier when you two were playing pool against me and Echo. I see when you check her out like that, too, you know?”

I, too, had seen Raven look Emori up and down while John had been talking.

“So what if I am, hm? What if I like her?” Raven asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Well, do you?” 

Raven just shrugged to his question.

“Come on, it’s not like we already share a partner,” John pointed at me.

I lifted my glass as a sort of greeting.

“And honestly, I think she’d love it if you asked her out?”

“Yea?” Raven smiled.

“Ha, I knew it, you’re into her!” I shouted, earning myself a punch in the stomach from Raven.

Emori had heard my shout and, of course, had also noticed that we were all looking at her. With a smug grin, she came over. “You’re into me?” she asked, stopping only a few feet away from Raven.

“What makes you think he was talking about you?” Raven still tried to play with her.

“Because I’ve noticed you can’t keep your eyes off of me,” Emori replied without missing a beat. “And that even though your three and a half other partners are here, too.”

“And a half?” I asked.

“Oh, come on,” Emori chuckled, “haven’t you noticed there’s something going on between those two?” She pointed at John and Raven.

“There is?” Clarke asked. She had followed Emori to us, wanting to know what was going on.

“Oh, big time!” Raven grinned.

“So, basically Raven is into all of us?” Echo now asked from behind me.

“Have you seen you?” Raven pointed at all of us, “How could I not be into that???”

We all laughed. 

“So, can I have it?” she then asked, looking first at Emori, then at John.

“Just come and get it,” Emori grinned.

Raven didn’t need another invitation. She pushed herself off of the bar, kissed first John for a few seconds and then Emori, wrapping her arms around her neck.

“What a great birthday present,” I joked. 

“Dude, I’m the best!” Raven protested before getting back to the kissing. 

* * *

Christmas 2016 was celebrated by all eight of us in our four-person apartment. 

Every room looked festive as Clarke had insisted we would put up decorations everywhere. I’m sure if you ask him, Lincoln will show you all the pictures he took that day so you can see how overboard she went. (I’ll have to make sure she isn’t close when I read this to you or she’ll be mad I said that.) 

While Abby and Marcus were to come on Christmas morning to celebrate with us, Christmas Eve it was just us eight.

We sat around the big table with way too much food on it and we were having the usual conversations when Octavia, who had been talking about sports with Raven again, said something that made me listen in on their conversation.  
“Well, I’ll have to do a lot of workouts in a couple of months.”

“Huh?” Raven made, “why?”

“Well, being pregnant tends to do some stuff to your body,” Octavia shrugged.

“Wait, what?”, everyone but Octavia and Lincoln said in unison.

“You’re pregnant?” John asked, just to be sure he had heard correctly.

Octavia nodded, a cheerful smile on her face that made me feel just as giddy as she looked.

“Oh my god!!!” Clarke squealed and, faster than I have ever seen her move, ran around the table to embrace Octavia from behind. “You’ll have a little baby nugget!!!”

“I’m gonna be an uncle?” I asked, the fact still not quite reaching my brain.

“Yea,” Lincoln nodded. He had the same happy expression on his face as Octavia did. 

By now, my little sister had gotten up to receive hugs from everyone so I, too walked around the table. Because Octavia was still busy with everyone else’s hugs, I hugged Lincoln first. He truly was beaming like a ray of sunshine when we looked at each other after the hug.

“I’m gonna be a dad!”

Finally, it was my turn to hug my sister. I didn’t just hug her though, I lifted her up from the ground and turned around a few times as she was squeaking with laughter.

“I am so so so so so happy for you,” I mumbled into her hair as I let her down to the ground.

She had happy tears in her eyes when I looked at her again and so did Clarke, I realized as I turned around. 

“Good thing we bought so much food then, now that there’s nine of us,” Emori joked.

“Yes, food!” Raven said, turning back to the table, “get back to eating, kids, before it gets cold!”

* * *

With me and Raven now dating John and Emori respectively, the women’s relationship already getting close to its first anniversary, we decided it was time to move in together, all six of us.

We put all our savings together and bought a house with three bedrooms four us, a living room and a dining room that were ginormous in comparison to what we were used to, a spacious kitchen that made John’s eyes light up with joy and three additional rooms that, at first, we decided to use for storage and one as a guest bedroom for when Lincoln, Octavia and their child or Abby and Marcus decided to stay over. But from the look in Clarke’s eyes when seeing these rooms for the first time, I knew she was already envisioning them as our children’s rooms.

The first morning in our house, with boxes and chaos everywhere, John and Emori got to see the routine of me and the girls for the first time.

They had to get up at the same time as us but for the first ten minutes of being in the kitchen together, they simply watched us in awe. Our routine was a bit bumpy because, of course, we were in a different kitchen, but nevertheless our well-oiled machine of working together to have the most efficient morning seemed to amaze them. 

“Okay, Emori and I are off!” Raven announced about 40 minutes later, standing in the doorway with her girlfriend, waiting for us to say goodbye. 

As every weekday morning ever since the four of us had started living together, Echo, Clarke and I jumped up as soon as we heard her, starting our race to kissing her goodbye.

Emori watched in shock as the three of us barged into her direction and quickly took a step back before the three of us crashed into Raven. (I won that day and got to kiss her lips.)

“What the-?” John voiced from behind us what Emori’s face was expressing as well.

“Will they be doing that every morning?” Emori asked our boyfriend.

John just shrugged as the four of us started laughing at their confusion.

* * *

It was a Saturday when I got the call from Lincoln. Saturday, June 3, 2017, my sister went into labor.

“We’re in the hospital, the baby is coming!” Lincoln had shouted into his phone.

“Everyone in the car!” Was my shout through the house about 2 minutes later, “Octavia is having her baby!”

All of us ran to get our shoes, Echo grabbed the keys to the van with a small “You’re too hyped to drive right now” comment directed at me and we drove to the hospital.

Then, we waited. We got snacks from a vending machine and we waited. Echo and Raven started making bets on the child’s gender as O and Lincoln hadn’t told us. Clarke started blurting out possible names and Echo pretended she was mad at her for saying more boys’ names, meaning she was on Raven’s side of the bet. 

What felt like ages later, a nurse finally told us the baby was there and healthy and that it was a boy. 

“Boom!” Raven shouted in victory, stretching out her hand for Echo to give her five dollars. 

“What will you do if in 15 years this kid turns out to be trans?” Emori asked with a smirk.

“Then I get ten dollars,” Echo simply said.

“And we’ll each give you five for predicting it,” Raven added.

“Can we go see them?” I asked the nurse who seemed amused by my partners’ conversation.

“Miss Blake is resting right now but I’m sure if you ask again in half an hour they will let you in,” he said and excused himself, getting back to work.

“Artigas,” Lincoln smiled as he presented us his newborn son.

“Well that wasn’t one of my guesses,” Clarke laughed. 

“It’s a cute name,” Emori smiled.

“Now you can say Lincoln loves both art and Art,” John joked, causing Octavia to roll her eyes.

“I am so proud of you.” I kissed Octavia’s forehead. “He is beautiful.”


	10. 2018

For my 30th birthday, my family had a very special surprise for me. One of the museums in our city had started a project where they interviewed the people of the city about their life story. Knowing how much I love history and how badly I want to leave something behind when I leave this planet, they asked the crew from the museum to interview all of us. 

Seeing that even Emori and Raven, who usually did not like talking too much about their feelings, especially with strangers, let themselves be asked all those questions to make me happy, achieved exactly that. 

I thanked them all with a bright smile and many hugs and kisses for the surprise. 

When the interviewers had left, John started cooking with some help from Lincoln and Echo and Octavia and Clarke went upstairs with little Artigas so he could take a little nap until dinner was ready while the rest of us started preparing the table and, for after dinner, the living room. Occasions like this one really made me appreciate the big house we now had.

After dinner, Octavia and Lincoln had to go home because of Artigas but the rest decided we would do a movie night and I, of course, got to pick the movie.

While Clarke and Emori were finishing up the kitchen, I chose a comedy on Netflix, which John very much appreciated. I sat down on the couch, Raven and Echo letting themselves fall on either side of me, John next to Raven with some space for Emori still left next to him.

Emori was the first to come back from the kitchen and she just sat down on the spot John had left for her so that, when Clarke came in, the couch was full. 

Taking the situation a lot calmer than I had expected, Clarke just shrugged and let herself drop half on my, half on Echo’s lap and asked what we had decided to watch.

I started the movie without answering her question, earning a “nice” from the woman on my lap when she saw the title on the screen. Everyone enjoyed the movie very much, even the ones who had already watched it a couple of times, so we were still laughing when the movie was over and the credits started rolling.

When the laughter slowly ebbed away into silence again, I heard Clarke, her head now pressed into Echo’s chest who had an arm wrapped closely around her. Her voice was quiet and a strange mixture of calm and nervous. “Echo?”

“Mhm,” Echo just hummed, the low vibration of the sound traveling into my body through our touching shoulders.

Clarke shifted her position between us so that she could now look into Echo’s eyes from below. She swallowed. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

The meaning of Clarke’s question sent a tension into my body and I could feel a similar reaction from Raven. Echo, on the other hand, smiled lightly, let her free hand travel to the back of Clarke’s neck, tangling her fingers through the blonde curls, and pulled her close, connecting their lips. 

When they separated again, both were smiling.

“Can I kiss you again?” Clarke asked, excitement filling her every feature. 

“As often as you like.”

* * *

Your cousin’s first birthday was a very special day for me. We were sitting in Octavia and Lincoln’s flat, most on chairs and the couch, Echo, Clarke and O on the ground. They were throwing Art’s favorite teddy bear around between them, making him crawl in a circle, trying to get to his bear.

It was such a calm moment, just us laughing at the little baby looking so confused when Echo would hide the bear behind her back. He looked at her, then turned around to look at the other two women if they had it, but they didn’t so he looked at his father to help him.

Lincoln just lifted his empty hands. “I don’t have it either.”

Using the time the baby was distracted, Echo threw the teddy bear back to Clarke.

“Ah, found it!” Clarke said and waved at Art with the bear in her hand.

Art let out an excited squeak before crawling towards Clarke to get his bear.

That’s when Raven got up and took the little boy’s hands into her own. “Wanna try walking to Clarkey?” she asked the baby. She flinched a little, as always, when getting on her knees but managed to walk on them behind the little guy as he took a few steps towards his one and with the help of his other aunt.

When Art fell back down on all four right in front of Clarke, we all started clapping, showing him how proud we were that he had managed to walk so many steps.

At first, he giggled excitedly but then the clapping and cheering got too loud so he started crying.

Clarke quickly scootched forward and picked the little guy up, pressing him against herself to calm him down.

With us all being quiet now, he calmed down so very quickly that Clarke got a “wow” from Octavia.

At that moment, seeing my three girlfriends interacting so naturally with a little baby and even John and Emori, who hadn’t been the biggest fans of children before, enjoying every second of it, I thought of you. Well, of course not you as the exact people you are now, but I pictured children, lots of them, all that love in our house,... 

“Who were your heroes when you were kids?”

* * *

"Hey Bell, could you... oh sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your work."

"No, it's okay."

"What are you writing?"

"It's a book about us."

"About us? Why?"

"Yea, about all ten of us."

"Ten? - Oh."

"I want our kids to know our story."

"Which kids, Bellamy?'

"Soon."


	11. 2019-2020 part I

“I think all of you know by now that I’ve been working on a book and I think you also know who it is for, right?”

It was a Saturday evening and I had called everyone into our big living room to have a conversation.

“You’re writing down our story for our future children,” Echo summarised.

“Yea…,” I simply nodded. “I started writing it because I saw how happy playing with Artigas makes all of you and I’ve always wanted to be a dad, too and I know at least Clarke has always wanted to be a mom and I think you guys aren’t that opposed to babies anymore either, are you?” I realized I had been rambling a little and decided to pause for a bit.

“You want to have a baby,” Raven asked. Her voice was calm, reassuring as if she had seen this coming for a while. I wasn’t even fully sure if she had phrased it as a question or a statement.

“It doesn’t have to be right now and it doesn’t have to be a baby either, I was going to suggest that maybe we adopt first…,” I explained.

“Why do you want to adopt first?” Echo asked.

“I don’t know, I thought it would be nice to give some kids a home and maybe if we don’t start with someone that still needs diapers, the not so baby-loving ones among us would like that.”

“Fully agree, I’m in favor!” Emori nodded her head strongly. “The foster system sucks, any kid we can save from that stuff is a win.”

“I’m with you guys, if we’re gonna have a kid now, we should adopt.”

“One question,” Raven threw in, “I guess we can’t adopt a child as us six, right?” 

“Yea, I’ve thought about that, too,” I sighed, “It sucks really, but I guess we’ll just go around and adopt the kids as pairs and appoint two of the others as their legal guardian in case something happens to the two official parents.”

“So who wants to be parents first?” Echo asked jokingly.

“There’s still a lot of work to be done,” I smiled, “But I thought, since, in practice, we will all be parents to all our kids equally, no matter who adopted them or eventually, who their biological parents are…”

“You want us to roll dice?” Raven asked, reading my thoughts.

“Yea, that’s what I wanted to suggest,” I smiled, leaning over to her, whispering an “I love you” into her ear for knowing me so well and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Well, it would only be fair,” Echo shrugged, “Maybe later if one of us has more than the others we can still switch to deciding the adoptive parents but especially for the first one that would be the best way to choose.”

“I think all this is a very beautiful idea,” Clarke smiled brightly. “I’ve always wanted to be a mom and I am so, so incredibly happy to be able to do it with all of you.”

We decided to do more research on the whole thing the next day and went back to our usual routine of making dinner.

A lot of research later, we rolled the dice and the two of us the dice had decided on went to the adoption agency. I don’t want to bore you with the bureaucratic details but we were put on a list, checked, put on a different list and then told to wait until they would find a child for us.

* * *

Clarke had talked about it with Raven before everyone else. I had already started getting worried because I kept seeing them talk in secret so I was wondering if maybe one of them wasn’t fully on board with the adoption thing because that was THE thing on everyone’s minds at the time. But really, especially with Clarke and Raven, I could not picture them having any doubts about it. Still, I was worried.

One evening, when we were all preparing dinner together, Clarke excused herself to go to the toilet. She came back a lot quicker than as if she had actually gone to pee though, which confused those of us who hadn’t been too busy cutting vegetables or something.

“So.. uhm… guys,” Clarke now brought everyone’s attention to herself.

We turned around to look at her, to see if something was wrong as the tone in her voice had been pretty nervous.

“Yea, so, something didn’t go as planned…,” she continued with a coy smile.

“Wait, really?” The words shot out of Raven’s overly-excited-looking face before Clarke could even reveal what it was that had happened.

Then, finally, Clarke pulled a pregnancy test out from behind her back. “We’re pregnant.”

We danced in the living room in celebration, Emori’s favorite songs playing on the big stereo because, as you know, she has the best taste in music out of all of us. 

Echo sat down on the couch first, tired from her day and all the dancing.

I sat down next to her soon after, putting my arm around her. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m just happy,” she said.

“Yea, me too,” I smiled, kissing her cheek.

“I can’t stop imagining all our kids dancing with us soon.”

That’s when Raven moved towards us. “Leg hurts,” she said, “so I’m joining you old people.” She plopped down between us, gave each of us a kiss on the cheek and wiggled her butt to actually fit between our butts and not sit on our laps.

We just sat there, watching the people we loved dancing in front of us, singing along in full joy and everything was as it was supposed to be.

* * *

Almost a year after we had registered for adoption, the agency called us saying they had something for us. The problem was, they said, that they would prefer it if this child stayed with their sibling. A quick message into the family group chat and a heads up from everyone proved that this was not at all a problem for us.

Emori gave off a small sarcastic comment that there were foster siblings she would have preferred staying with her as well like one time she had this brother Otan for almost a year and they got along really well but were separated again.

In the afternoon, Clarke and Echo immediately went shopping for toys and everything else the guest room needed to be child friendly. 

Two days after the call, our doorbell rang and when we opened the door, we met Aden and Madi for the first time.

The two of us who were to officially adopt them were the ones to greet them and the woman bringing them, drank a coffee with her, gave the kids some cookies and signed all the papers.

The few things the kids owned were brought to their new room, the woman took a last look around, then she left and we were alone with our new kids.

We gathered in the living room. At first, the four-year-old Madi was a bit scared of all these adult people around her but all six of us quickly sat down on the floor to be at eye level and I calmly started to explain the situation to them: that even though only two of us had officially taken them in and were going to adopt them, be their legal parents after the year-long trial period, we would all act as their parents, love them with all our heart and be there for them whenever they needed help.

Madi’s two years older brother Aden - his sister was still hiding behind him but had started to come forward a bit - asked when I was finished with the explanation, what, if all of us were their new parents, the two of them were supposed to call us.

We all looked at each other, chuckling and shrugging. Had we seriously forgotten to think of that?

“For now, just call us by our names, I guess, and then we can see if we’ll change it with time,” Clarke finally replied. “I'm Clarke,” she started introducing herself, “I like drawing and painting. I have a mom and a stepfather who will be your grandparents, you will meet them soon. I am also pregnant so in a few months you two will have a tiny sibling!”

“Is it a boy or girl?” Madi asked quietly.

“We don't know yet,” John replied, “but I promise we'll tell you as soon as we do.”

“Okay,” Aden said.

“I'm John, nice to meet you,” he said in a funny accent, making the kids chuckle a bit, “I work for the police with Echo and Bellamy” - He pointed at us when saying our names - “So we can keep you very safe. I also like cooking.”

“Like John said, my name is Echo and I work for the police,” she continued the round of introductions, “I like having fun, laughing a lot and watching TV shows. I'm also the second oldest of us, only Bell is older.”

“Yes, I'm Bellamy,” I picked up, “I'm the oldest and I also work for the police but I also like history and writing stories.”

“I'm Emori, I'm actually more fun than Echo,...“

“She’s not,” Echo interjected.

“I am, you’ll see,” Emori chuckled. “I work with Raven at a tech company but if any of your toys ever break and you want it to be the same way as before, you better give it to me because Raven will change things and make it cooler in her eyes but if it really is cooler…, well, that's debatable sometimes.”

“Hey!” Raven protested, “everything I make is cool!”

The doubtful faces all of us made and John’s “not really, sorry, Rae” made the kids laugh.

“Okay, I'm Raven and actually, I'm the coolest here.” - This earned scoffs from both Echo and Emori - “I also love sports and I can make your toys way cooler than they are now, if there's any tech in them.”

* * *

My 32nd birthday was one of the happiest days of my life. Actually, I think, by now, the sentence I wrote in 2018 that I have never again been as happy as I was that weekend in June 2012 is not true anymore. This 32nd birthday of mine is a good candidate for “best day ever” so far. 

Echo filmed it all and I will show you those videos, too. On them, you can see me blowing out 32 candles on a giant cake Clarke had made for me, you can see Aden and Madi bringing me my presents and a lot of us playing in the garden, enjoying the first feeling of spring. What you can not see in Echo’s videos are some amazing conversations I had that day, like one with Clarke and one with Emori.

“How is our birthday boy feeling?” Clarke started our conversation in the kitchen, cleaning up after the cake eating. 

“Perfect,” I smiled.

“You happy?”

“Very!”

She smiled widely and gave me a kiss.

“How are you feeling?” I asked in return, placing my hands lightly on her stomach.

“Perfect,” she replied, echoing me.

“Have you thought about names yet?” I asked next. “Maybe one of those you babbled out when Art was born?” 

She chuckled at the memory. “You remember that?”

“Of course,” I replied, “I wrote it down.”

“I have a name, actually,” she told me.

“What is it?”

“Shhh,” she made with her finger in front of her lips. “I'll tell you when it's born.”

I also had a conversation with Emori that I like to remember.

“Thank you,” I said as we were standing in the garden, watching our kids and our nephew try to play soccer with Raven.

“Hm?” she woke up from her happy haze.

“Thank you, Emori.”

“For what?” she chuckled.

“I know you didn't really want kids before but now I see you do your very best with these two and I know you'll be amazing with the next child as well and with all the kids that will follow.”

She had turned towards me while I had been talking. “You really want to make your own army of kids, huh, Bell?” she smiled.

“Only if you're on board.”

“Yea, I think I'd manage.”

“Thank you for being such a cool mom.”

“I told you all I'm the coolest.”

The best part of my 32nd birthday though was a surprise Raven and Clarke had for Echo and me. 

After the ceremony of me getting all my presents, opening them and having Echo take pictures of me with them, Raven said, there was another very special present I hadn’t gotten yet. 

On Clarke’s cue, Madi took Echo’s hand and guided her to sit next to me on the ground amidst the piles of old newspaper (Lincoln had insisted that we shouldn’t use wrapping paper because it would just go to waste.) 

Aden then cleared his throat to talk. “Clarke and Raven said, uhm, and John and Emori also agree, that you two should be the ones we and the other future kids should call ‘mom’ and ‘dad’.”

As soon as he had said the word “dad”, my eyes started tearing up. “Really?”

“Yea, they said because you two are the reason why you all are together today and also because, uhm, Clarke and Raven want to have babies from their belly and Emori doesn’t but Emori doesn’t want to be called ‘mom’ anyway but they think Echo does and so that Echo doesn’t feel like she is less of a mom than Raven and Clarke because she does not want to make babies herself so they said we should call her ‘mom’,” Aden rambled.

“Thank you!” Echo said, also with tears in her eyes, “It’s not even my birthday and this is the best present ever!” She hugged both kids while I was still trying to have my son’s words reach my head.

“Don’t cry, dad,” Madi said but these words, her now really calling me ‘dad’ for the first time just made me cry even more.

“I’m just so very thankful, babygirl,” I smiled and hugged her tightly.

“Does that mean you’re happy?” she asked. “Are you happy crying?”

“Yes, honey, I’m very happy.”

* * *

May 15, 2020, marked the 10-year anniversary of the death of Octavia and my mom.

Aurora Blake had not been the best of mothers but still, we were sad so Octavia came over with her family to spend the day with my family. 

We shared a long, tight hug, giving each other some comfort.

Seeing this and sensing our sadness, Madi asked Echo what was going on.

“That's a longer conversation,” Echo replied with a sad smile. “We'll talk about that all together, okay?”

Madi nodded.

Octavia and I had heard their conversation, though. My sister let go of me and, at first, greeted our kids as always. Especially Madi had clicked with her aunt from the very beginning. Then, O kneeled down in front of her niece.

“You know, your dad and I don't have any parents anymore,” Octavia began her explanation, “We never had dads but our mom isn't there anymore because she died 10 years ago.”

“Adria’s mom died, too,” Madi said to her brother. 

“Who is Adria?” Lincoln asked.

“A girl they shared foster parents with recently,” Emori explained, “We are trying to find out where she is now to reconnect them.”

“Did anyone explain to you what dying means?” Octavia asked now.

“Not really, Aden replied.

We sat down with everyone in the living room for this conversation. We explained what death is, that it means people aren’t there anymore but you can still sometimes feel them because of the impact they have had on your heart.

We explained that this day was sad because Octavia and my mom died 10 years earlier but that she is not the only person we knew that died. We told them that by living with this family, the children would learn to get used to this sad feeling being around sometimes because of the many people we had lost and we asked them if that’s okay.

“Does that mean the happy time we had is over now?” Aden asked with fear in hid eyes.

“No, no,” John quickly assured him, “There will always be happy times again.”

“It's just that... so that you can enjoy the happy times, there has to be a little sad in between,” Clarke continued.

“It’s a bit like waves,” Lincoln said, “Every happy needs a little bit of sad afterward, but in the sad times you can always be sure that there will be a happy time again.”

“Otherwise life would be boring, right?” Raven winked at the kids.

* * *

On Artigas’ 3rd birthday, Clarke was already close to her due date.

Octavia had said many times in the months before, how amazing it would be if our baby and hers shared a birthday. 

As you know, Clarke did not give birth that day though so it was just a normal birthday party for a three-year-old.

Madi and Aden played with their cousin in the garden. It was warm and bright and it smelled like the beginning of summer always does.

Lincoln and I were standing at the barbeque grill, watching our kids play and our girlfriends chat.

“This feels perfect,” Lincoln sighed.

“It does, for now.”

“What do you mean for now?”

I chuckled. “Emori is accusing me of wanting to start a cult.”

“Why’s that?” Lincoln laughed.

“Because I want to have so many children that we will basically never get to stop planning the next birthday,” I explained.

Lincoln just lifted his eyebrow in amusement, “You do you,” he laughed, “I mean, you do have enough partners to take care of everyone…”

“Yea, I do,” I smiled happily.

The end of our little conversation meant, that we could now listen to the others talking again. While John, Emori and Echo had joined the kids in the garden again, Octavia, Raven and Clarke were still sitting at the table, chatting.

“Does it hurt as much as they say it does?”

“It definitely does, yes, but it’s worth it and you forget most of the pain afterwards anyway.”

“Brain blocking out the trauma, huh?” Clarke grimaced.

“Yea, probably,” Octavia chuckled.

“Are you gonna have another one any time soon?” Raven asked Octavia.

“Probably, yea. But we won’t rush anything.”

“For now, we have this little bean to look forward to.” Clarke pointed at her own belly.

“God, you two are so brave,” Raven sighed.

“You think so?” Octavia smiled and did a hair flip.

“Oh, definitely. I don’t know if I could do that,... like… giving birth.”

“Do you want to, though?” Clarke asked, taking Raven’s hand into her own, just like me at that moment feeling a rare Raven-shows-her-feelings-occasion coming up.

“I think so, maybe…,” Raven admitted.

“We’ll be there helping you with everything you need if you do decide to do it,” Octavia assured her.

“You would be amazing,” Clarke said, kissing Raven’s cheek.

“And,” I joined into the conversation, “kids that are a mix of you and me would be so beautiful.”

“You’re right,” Raven let out a puff of laughter, “They’d be super hot.

“All our kids will be beautiful,” Lincoln winked, “I mean, look at the ones we already have.”

We did and we smiled. They were perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At New Year's Eve 2019/2020, I asked all my partners to write letters to one another about our love and about our future as parents together. If you want to read these letters, check out the second Work in the Series this one is a part of. The link is in the Infobox above, enjoy.


	12. 2020 part II

The day Clarke gave birth for the first time was a perfect example of how well the six of us work together. I will probably use it pretty often in the future to brag about us so you may already know the story. I will write it down anyway.

After we had found out about Aden and Madi, also knowing that Clarke was pregnant and we would therefore soon have three kids, John and I had decided to ask our Captain if we could share our position at the police station so that one of us would always be at home with Clarke and the kids - John before lunch break and I after.

Clarke’s contractions began at about 10 am so I was at work when Echo and I got the call from John that he was now taking her to the hospital. He told us that Raven and Emori were on their way there, too.

Emori took over staying with Clarke while Raven and John drove to the police station, John to take over for me so that I could be there when Clarke gave birth and Raven so that she could drive me to the hospital since, as we had already found out when Artigas had been born, I get way too nervous when it comes to women I love having babies.

So, I kissed Echo and John goodbye, they said good luck and to keep them updated and I jumped into the car with Raven, my hands shaking and my forehead sweating.

“It’ll be okay, babe,” Raven tried to calm me down but she knew just as well as I did that I would only be able to calm down once our child was safely and healthily in my arms.

At the hospital, Emori hugged me, managing to calm me down a little bit as we were brought to the waiting room close to where Clarke was. 

Due to stupid regulations from the side of the hospital, only I was let inside to see Clarke but I told the doctor to please always have someone bring news to Raven and Emori outside.

This was how it went for about an hour, me holding Clarke’s hands, kissing her, talking to her, a nurse informing our girlfriends outside about how Clarke was doing and Emori calling John and Echo every ten minutes or so to keep them updated.

At almost 12 o’clock then, Clarke gave birth to a baby boy. He was cleaned, went through a small check-up and wrapped into a blanked before they handed him to Clarke for the first time. 

When they let in Emori and Raven, I looked up to smile at them, but at first, I could not see their faces because the happy tears I had not noticed before that second were blurring my vision.

“It’s a boy!” I told them proudly. “Look at him!”

Clarke was crying, too, I noticed, letting the little guy hold her finger with his tiny hands as she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

“He is beautiful,” Emori smiled.

“Of course he is, I mean, look at all his parents,” Raven said, her finger doing a circular motion to point at all four of us and the phone in Emori’s hand.

Raven and I stayed with Clarke the entire day. Emori went to pick up Aden and Madi from kindergarten so they would get to welcome their little brother and in the evening, John and Echo joined us, bringing take out with them, for everyone their favorite food.

“What is his name?” Aden asked. He had asked this before, but Clarke had said she wouldn’t reveal it before everyone was there.

With the now nine of us finally all cramped together in the hospital room, Clarke knew it was time to tell us the secret she had kept for months.

“Alex,” she said. 

Echo gasped, like most of us immediately noticing the meanings hidden in this name.

Clarke explained it still, mostly for the baby’s older siblings, who were looking at all of us in confusion.

“There are two reasons for this name,” Clarke explained with her talking-to-little-children-voice. “The first one is, that John’s father’s name was Alex and he was a very nice person so this name will help us remember him.”

“The other reason,” Echo took over for her, “is, that we all once had two friends who were named Lexa and Anya and Alex is a mix of those two names.”

“What happened to Lexa and Anya?” Madi asked.

“We’ll explain that some other time, okay?” Emori smiled at the kids.

“Okay.”

“What are we gonna do about his last name?” Raven now asked, bringing back a topic we had started discussing before but had always waved off with a “we’ll take care of that when it’s time”-comment.

“I thought,” Clarke started, “Since all of our surnames work as first names as well, we could give each of our children one of them as a middle name and two others as surnames.”

“That’s a good idea,” John nodded.

“We can even do that for you two,” I suggested, looking at our two first children, “only if you want that, of course, but if you do, you can choose your last names once we get to fully adopt you in a year. What do you think?”

“And you both don’t have middle names yet so you can get three of our names if you want!” Echo added.

“Okay,” Aden replied, looking both excited and, understandably so, a little overwhelmed with the situation.

The doctor had Clarke stay in the hospital overnight and I was allowed to stay with her while the others went back home.

When the three of us came home the next day, we were greeted not only by the six we had spent our evening with but also by Abby, Marcus, Octavia, Lincoln and Artigas.

Octavia, of course, was overjoyed that Alex had been born only sixteen days after Artigas’ birthday, Lincoln got tears in his eyes when Clarke told him his little nephew’s name, Abby asked Clarke a few medical questions about how her delivery went before hugging her daughter proudly while Marcus had enveloped me with his arms as soon as I had entered and hadn’t let me go for what felt like at least two minutes.

Once the five of them had left and Alex had finally fallen asleep again, our living room turned into one gigantic cuddle party with all of us lying next to or halfway on top of each other, just enjoying the moment in relative silence as to not wake up the baby on Echo’s chest. 

“I love all of you so much,” I heard Clarke say from somewhere above my head, presumably in Raven’s arms as Raven’s leg was next to my arm. I could hear in her voice that there were happy tears in her eyes again.

“I love all of you, too,” the rest of us replied. We were happy.

The baby’s name is Alexander Blake Griffin-Reyes

* * *

July 1st that year was the first time the anniversary of Anya and Lexa’s death came around ever since we had had the kids. 

As promised not even two weeks prior on the evening of the 0th birthday of their little brother, we explained to Aden and Madi what had happened to our two friends. 

Knowing none of us was very keen on having to talk about July 2012 from memory, Raven, knowing I had written that part of our lives down, asked me to simply read this book’s chapter of that time or at least the parts that were acceptable to read to four-year-old Madi, so I did exactly that on June 30th. 

Madi hugged all of us with her tiny arms in an attempt to comfort us, succeding a little bit.

After this conversation, Echo, Raven, Clarke and I left for our yearly trip to the lake, leaving the two older kids with John and Emori but taking Alex with us.

Before we left, we heard John promise the two kids lots of pizza and fun while their responsible parents were gone. I gave him a sort of judgemental raised eyebrow but Raven simply smirked.

“Do that,” she encouraged him before she closed the door behind us.

* * *

On our first Día de Los Muertos with the kids, John had them help us with the cooking. 

We were making his vegan meatballs, a recipe he made up himself and is very proud of, I’m sure he still makes them all the time, maybe we’re even tired of them by the time I’m reading you this, but now, I still love them very much.

Madi got to pull apart the toast into small pieces, Aden helped Emori with the mashed potatoes, Echo and Clarke were putting the mushrooms and walnuts into the mixer while Raven and I were cutting onions and garlic and John was running around giving directions, feeling fully in his element.

After dinner with the Woods, the kids were all playing together while we were watching them in comfortable silence, when all of a sudden, Raven started talking to Emori in Spanish. They had both been taking online classes in it for about three years now so they were good enough to have a conversation. The rest of us, though, were very confused. (I asked Raven to write this conversation for me because I cannot speak or write any spanish.)

¿Piensas que es una buena idea hablar español con los niños y tal vez enseñarlo a ellos o es más bromista tener una lengua secreta para nosotras?,” she asked, “Y si piensas que es mejor si es solamente para nosotras, ¿piensas que eso ‘nosotras’ debe incluir nuestras novios y novias y ser un ‘nosotros’ o de verdad solamente tú y yo?”

“Pienso que,” Emori replied with a grin at everyone’s confused faces, “si usamos español como una lengua secreta, los niños van a pillar al vuelo muchas de las palabras y un día u otro ya no será secreta…”

“Pero hasta entonces…,” Raven said with puppy eyes.

“Vale…,” Emori smiled.

“Now what was all that conversation about,” Octavia asked.

“Raven wants to use Spanish as a secret language against the children,” Emori explained.

“Great secret language if you translate it for them, babe,” Raven complained.

“Sorry, babe,” Emori smiled. “What could I ever do to make it up to you?” she joked.

“Hm…,” Raven thought, “10 kisses.”

“Okay,” Emori grinned and leaned down.

“Ewwww,” Aden made as he saw them making out, but then laughed.

“Yea, get a room!” John agreed and elbowed Emori’s side, making her fall off of Raven.

“Would you still say that if I did this?” Emori asked and started kissing her boyfriend the same way now.

Now Clarke elbowed her, making her fall off again, causing everyone to laugh.

* * *

For Christmas Eve, everyone got to work in the kitchen again to help John fulfill his vision of a perfect family feast. The kids loved the extra family bonding time and did not even protest making “ew” sounds, like some other kids they knew in kindergarten would do, when some of us exchanged kisses.

Later, at the dinner table, we began talking about our plans for the coming year. 

“I’ve been thinking about what I could do with my half a day at home,” I threw into the conversation, “I mean when the kids are busy or sleeping or something.”

“What do you want to do?” Echo asked.

“Well, I’ve been having a lot of fun writing this book for our kids so I thought ‘Why only write for our own kids?’”

“You want to write children’s’ books?” Emori raised her eyebrow with a smirk.

“Yep,” I smiled.

“Ooooo can I illustrate them?” Clarke’s face was bright with excitement.

“Yes, of course,” I chuckled, “I was thinking about less mainstream topics that are part of our lives like kids having more than two parents, being adopted or having parents of the same gender and that all of that is valid and can be a loving family.”

“That’s a beautiful idea,” Echo smiled and kissed my cheek.

“Any other major plans for the future?” John asked, looking around the table.

“Yes,” Raven said with a bright grin, “I do.”

“No way!” Echo gasped.

“Really?” I asked, already feeling happy tears fill my eyes again.

Clarke nodded at me. Of course, she was the first to know.

“What happened?” Aden asked.

“Raven is pregnant!” John explained, causing the kids to be filled with the same joy as the rest of us.

“Another baby sibling!” Madi jumped up from her chair to run to Raven and hugged her.

The rest of us got up as well, hugging and celebrating the news.

“I have another announcement to make as well,” I spoke up after everyone had settled back down, wiping the tears from my eyes.

John fake-gasped. “You’re pregnant, too!”

“No,” I laughed.

“What a pity,” he joked, “I bet a baby belly would have looked cute on you, don’t you think?” he asked the children.

“Definitely!” Aden agreed, laughing.

“What is it for real though?” Emori asked, taking the conversation back to a serious tone.

“I have decided that this today will be the last thing I will write down in my book,” I announced.

“Really?” Echo asked.

“Why?” Raven added.

“I only wanted to write down how we all met,” I explained, “so that the kids would know how this family came to be. But now that we have an almost-seven-year-old and an almost-five-year-old,...” I had to pause, looking at the two still made me sentimental, “that are going to be officially our children in only two months, I just feel like from now on it’s their story to tell their future siblings.”

“Do you want to do that?” Clarke asked the two of them, “Do you want to be the ones who tell the stories to Alex and all the new kids that will join our family?”

“Yes!” Aden shouted excitedly.

“Will you help me if I want to write something down?” Madi asked.

“Yes, of course, we will,” Clarke replied.

“Then yes,” Madi smiled.

“Then my work here is done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story.


End file.
